I am getting to a point where i just want to kill myself. My bf cant see me this week on our own (we wil see each other Wednesday but in a big group of people) and he cant because of commitments with work, family etc and i know thats fine but when he told me i completely flew off the handle! I started accusing him of not loving me and not caring and that he doesnt want to see me. He said that he does want to see me but he cant as he hs other things that he has already arranged. I know i am being totally unreasonable but i keep flying into these possessive rages and i fear i am drinving him away by being like this. I know he loves me and i know he cares so why am i always looking for constant reassurance? He is a swwt guy and has given me no reason not to trust him and i am being so awful to him! How do i stop this? I know it is down to my insecurities and i know that when i fly off the handle and start shouting at him i shouldnt but i cant stop myself. I feel so worthless. Wat do i do?
Answer:
First, killing yourself is not an option, especially over a guy. I too have felt that way, but your life is much bigger than the troubles you are facing right now. It's natural to be insecure and to always feel that you're not good enough or that your mate is going to leave you. But you're giving him a reason to sway if you keep flying off like this over small things. He has a life, and he had one before he met you. So you need to realize that and be as flexible and understanding as possible. Don't hand-cuff your man to you...it will only make him resentful to the point where he breaks away. Spend the free time when you can't be with him to yourself and relax, do something you like to do and most importantly, learn to be okay with yourself. If you know that he loves you, then rest and be assured of that. I would really suggest some deep meditation and relaxation because it sounds to me like you're having anxiety...I've been there and done that. It makes you feel like you're going crazy. But you're not going crazy, you're just wound up. Try to relax and enjoy whatever amount of time you have with him. When you start to relax, he'll take notice and love you even more. Good luck!
Wow, you're one of those crazy girls that are the ex's of men I've dated. You are the stuff of legends. The kind of ex that make me look normal!! Thanks.
If he has a mind at all, he'll dump you, but that's what you want isn't it? If not, why not behave rationally since you clearly know your behaviour is irrational and driving him away. You need to seek out professional help if you can't seem to figure it out yourself.
You are totally confused. please do not confuse others. read your question and check if you have understood what you are asking?
You need to calm down and also work on your self esteem. From what you say, your bf is a responsible and caring guy with valid commitments this weekend. Your rage and insecurity are going to push people away, and then you'll feel worse and even more insecure. I think you need to see a doctor about these issues. They may very well be hormonal, or you may be depressed and need to be on antidepressants for a while while you talk to someone (professional) about what's behind all this insecurity so you can break the cycle and accept that people like your bf care about you because you're worthy of their love and care.
My advice to you would get involved with something else to occupy with time when he is busy. Take a fun class like dancing or art, join a book group or join a church group for young adults.
I know how it is when you fly off the handle when he tells you he is busy. Believe it gets no easier if ya'll get married then he'll have work, school, family and friends. I sometimes feel this way but I have learn to stop myself and just try to redirect my attention to something else or my kids.
Good Luck and know you aren't alone.
give him a little space and you take some for yourself. Yous are still young yet . Do you really truly trust him? Sounds like you don't
Honestly, SEE A DOCTOR!
If you're going into rages or emotional crashes, it could be depression, bi-polar, or some condition that's causing it.
SEE A DOCTOR!
i think you need time to think carefully (just for you) to clear your head,i understand why you cant meet on wednesday,but i cant see why you feel insecure when you know just how much he loves you.are you scared that the time apart could change his entire perspective.well it wont if he truly loves you he will find a way to settle things soon.when you fall into an insecure rage just tell yourself 'i love my man and he loves me too' i think your problem can be dealth with when you guys talk again though,and please try not to push him away because it usually occurs when they get stressed out! you wouldn't want that now would you?
always remember that mans r from mars and womans are from Venus. there is a yawning gap in thoughts and feelings and emotions of a man and a woman, as u told that u knows tht he loves you, then try to understand the philosophy behind the way mans shows their love. for mans love is to protect their loved ones from everything, secure their future, provide them everything. if he is committed to something else that doesn't mean that he doesn't want to see you or he doesn't love you, the only thing is that he is having a different way to show it. you both should talk to each other politely and should fix up the problems. say for example by talking you both can fix a day or two to meet in a week, or something like that. by this way you both will be able to finish your works also and meet also. conversation is the only way to solve your problem, good luck and keep your self calm, because other than you no body can help you, others can only give you the advices.;
Please know that you are not worthless and there are people around you that love and care about you. About 3 weeks ago my father committed suicide. I feel like I will never stop crying and and my family is still in shock. All I can say is please do not do anything to hurt yourself, I assure you it will not make things better for you and the pain you will inflict on your family is enormous. I know you are hurting but you are so young, just think about all the things you still have to experience in the long life ahead of you. As for your insecurities with your boyfriend, I cannot answer that for you, have you been cheated on in the past? All I could suggest is to go out more with your girlfriends, get some hobbies that do not involve him, do not let your life revolve around him. I am sure he is a great guy, and still do spend time with him, but sometimes take some time for yourself. In my experience the best relationships I had were ones where we spent time apart with friends, playing sports, etc and then when we saw each other it was even better because we had time to miss each other. And again, please if you are feeling suicidal, tell a friend or family member, see a counselor, call a hotline, anything. And please contact me if you need to talk, I would hate what happened to my family to happen to any others.
keeping yourself that way will make him bored from u, and he will make more excuses to stay away from u as long as he can...be mature and dont just act like a crazy girl who's ruining her bf's life without a reason...u have to appreciate his work his family all this...if u trust him as u say then dont worry...but it seems that u dont completely...don't ruin ur sweet relation, just have fun n enjoy ur time u're still young...
You are obviosly feeling lonely and are searching for someone or something to fill the void. It is important to realize the relationship that you put yourself into. If you date a guy that has to many responsibilities to pay you any piece of mind, it might be best to move on and find a better match.
Even if he is sweet and doesn't cheat, he isn't giving you the special time that you need together. It may help if you to talk to him about doing something together (just you and him). It is important to tell him how you feel and not scream it at him. Guys do have the tendency to practice selective hearing. As soon as a womans voice rises she become into nothing but a B****. You are not in a healthy relationship if your emotional needs are not being met. It is important to try to work it out but if things don't change it may be time to re-examine wether you want to live your life in constant dismay rather then be peaceful, happy, and secure.
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