had for most of your life, your not going to wanna be yourself are you??
especially if that 'you' has always been rejected,
because your gonna think that the real you is flawed and crap,
especially if youve had a history of bullying throughout your life.
what does anybody think about this concept?
im 29, lonely and am trying to make friends through the internet, i have bpd, im waiting for therapy, i have anxiety and panic and struggle to meet folk.
i always crave intimacy early, get clingy, struggle to make conversation, have very low self esteem, get posessive, get needy..
this always deters girls from me and puts them off me, that i intially make contact with through myspace and dating sites
Answer:
The main reason, in my experience, that people suggest you "be yourself" is because no one wants a surprise later on. Sure, you may be able to get a girl interested by pretending to be something you're not, but inevitably, she'll find out you were lying to her. And believe me, she's going to dislike you more for the lie, and for leading her on, than she ever would if you were honest with her.
If you know you have these hurdles in your personality, be honest with the women you meet. In all seriousness, a girl who isn't willing to stick around and help you work through your issues is not worth your time.
You are not flawed it sounds like you just need to take your time and the internet as much as it is help ful can also be harmful to sensitive people such as your self who are just trying to make a friend. Hell I will be your friend just don't get down on yourself and remember people are in your life to share it with you not for you to own it. In referenc eto craving intamacy early hell rmember you are human as I am and everyone else out there
Well dude, I have been in your shoes before. I understand how you feel. One thing that work really well for me is to start exercising. I am not sure of your build and all, but when you start exercising and you get leaner, your confidence generally will increase as well. This will help alot in building up your confidence level in meeting people. I turn my life around doing that, now that i am a certified personal trainer, I seen alot of my clients change their life through changing their body. Their self esteem have been heightened with a healthy lifestyle and body. Do yourself a favour. Give it a shot, you have everything to gain.
i'm afraid you are being misunderstood by people that don't want to take the time to get to know you. they probably don't even get that far to see what a great person you really are. i have struggled with this all my life. though people have always told me i am pretty, it never even occurred to me. never seen myself the way anyone else has. i always felt that i am this completely different person around others than when i am by myself. i get really nervous around alot of people and felt like i don't quite fit in. this has prevented my from ever really have a valuable relationship for the most part. at least one where i felt this person really "gets" me. if that is who you are, insecure, but really a nice person who has some problems than don't be afraid to hide behind your flaws anymore. one day you will meet someone on the same page who is willing to open their eyes and put aside their judgment to see the real you. screw all the other girls! it's their loss anyway, right. try to love yourself, bad stuff and all. it's the only way your true beauty will ever show. you are the only real friend you have to end, so get to know yourself more. good luck, you'll figure it out and when ya do everybody better watch out!
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